Desire That Lasts

About this book

Sex has become the thing you schedule around, argue about or quietly avoid, and neither of you is sure how you got here. Desire That Lasts is a practical program for couples of any gender combination who have been together a while, written frankly but never graphically. It starts by explaining why desire changes in long relationships, including responsive desire and the everyday brakes that switch it off, and helps both partners step out of the pursue-withdraw cycle with a Pause Agreement. Then come a structured two-sitting conversation about your sex life; a six-week sensate focus program, the touch-based method sex therapy has used since the 1970s; kinder ways to initiate and decline; a desire menu; and a monthly check-in with a relapse plan. Chapters on new parents, illness, menopause, erectile changes, infidelity and long droughts include clear signs that it is time to see a clinician. One rule never bends: either partner can say no at any moment. For adults 18+. Printable session cards and conversation guides included. Not about trying harder, but about making room again.

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